Complete control

"I think it's done."

"How long is it supposed to cook?"

"I dunno, a couple of minutes. I've never done this before."

"I have to say, I'm very nervous with the whole not using a recipe thing."

"I know and I don't care."

Some friends and I have been getting together the last couple of years for a nice dinner at the start of the New Year. We try to vary the guests, but usually the same group shows up. I am able to be in the kitchen with a good friend, one of my closest friends really. The problem is that unless I'm baking (and we all know how that goes with me) I don't really stick to recipes. I don't like them. It's like someone else, along with the millions of other things in our lives, telling me exactly what to do. It's the same reason I hate flying. I am not in complete control. And if you cannot be in complete control in your kitchen where else can you be.

This got me thinking, though. Am I just really selfish and void of compromise, or is this a good thing... not to stick to recipes all the time, I mean. GRANTED I occasionally use them for cooking times and basic starts, but once I get going am I, under this certain umbrella, doing myself a disservice??? I mean, it means I know what I'm doing, right? Sometimes. And if I fail, I fail...or the dish just comes out wrong, and is that really so bad? Is it bad? I mean, Julia Child said never to apologize.

I think I made my friend particularly distressed that night. He is a by-the-book kind of guy. Once, I was told, he cooked scallops all day (in total he said round 25 scallops) just to get the perfect scallop. I admire this. And I love him dearly. Though now he doesn't want to eat scallops. Well, I guess if I had to eat 25 scallops in a day I'd never want to see one on my fork again.